Knowing what you want and communicating it

Posted on 06. Oct, 2009 by Susan Wright in Life Coaching

It’s really hard sometimes just to say exactly what you want.  Take for example, writing this blog. I sometimes stumble to get the words out and say exactly what I want because the good ol’ censor kicks in and deletes a daring bold comment from my internal dialogue. For those of us who are “modest” it’s not easy to speak our desires and declare our wants. It somehow feels overbearing and selfish.  Then there are those times when we feel tired, lost and simply cannot muster up the courage to say what we want.

We fear saying what we want because what if it’s not true, what if it’s unreasonable, what if it’s unrealistic, what if – what if- what if!

What if, we just declared mutiny on our fear, our uncertainty, our modesty? Alternatively, we can say: I want clarity, I want faith, I want boldness.  This isn’t about “knowing” what we want; but rather, changing the way we access our inner strengths, our best kept secret desires, our potential.

We often don’t communicate what is it we want because we simply don’t know what we want! Instead we say nothing, we compare, we judge, we watch whatever is a distraction to our own circumstances. We potentially go further into a rut or simply get overwhelmed.  On the other hand, there is hope and a way of moving closer to knowing what we want!  I suggest these preliminary steps:

1. Stop spinning and take a deep breath
2. Position yourself
3. Accept where you are in the journey/process
4. Once you get this, strategize your move
5. Set up and write out the plan
6. Tweak as you go
7. Communicate what you intend & your process for getting to what you want

The first step is important and there are a number of ways to achieve this. To stop spinning, put your seat belt on and stop reaching out to grab whatever passes by or looks appealing. You aren’t yet grounded; it would be like filling your arms up with a thousand balls and dropping every one, even the good ones. Listen to your body, feel your breath – can you inhale? If you can’t inspire fully, then forget finding calm, perspective and inspiration.  You cannot create or plan from restriction and lack of inspiration. Get level, vent, and then assume a comfortable position.

I’m having so much fun writing this, and I can’t wait to post about the next step (but gotta run and get the kids). So for now, please just stop for a moment and ask yourself what will make the difference between not knowing what you want and knowing? In the meantime, send me your comments & questions  and I’ll continue to share how we can transition from turbulence & unease to strength and clarity.

Tags: communicate, fear, Inspiration, Strategy, transition