Just keep going with no attachment

Posted on 11. Dec, 2009 by in Life Coaching

“Just keep going with no attachment.” These were the words of encouragement I was given today, as my coach and I concluded our call. (Yes, coaches have coaches.)  In recent days I have had to deal with my own guilt around a family issue and this guilt was not brought on by anybody else but me.  My husband has postponed his knee-surgery date for a year, for the sake of my ambition, our respective businesses, and our financial and family well-being.  The call I received last week, offering a January 2010 date churned up old fears that arose when, two years ago we first learned my husband needed surgery. Having just delivered our second child I was freaked out.  Then the confirmation phone call arrived last week and my husband made his decision and delayed the surgery. Without him saying anything, I took ownership of the situation.

I felt completely responsible because my business hasn’t unfolded exactly as I planned, giving us the financial security I want.   So I began moving into that familiar place of fear:  I’ve got to do something, I need a plan, if it wasn’t for this, then this wouldn’t be the happening. Sound familiar?  I got away from my focus – what has meaning for me – what makes me want to keep going.  The only difference is that earlier today I was attached to what has to happen; whereas now, I’m feeling centred knowing that  I cannot control everything. Que sera sera.

The art of staying focused and present – hum, didn’t I blog about that last Friday? I suppose last week, deep down I was struggling with the “news” and the resulting disappointment of not being able to make something happen. As I wrote about distractions in my environment on Friday, this underlying situation was drawing me away.  I managed to work through my day with ample ease and get through the weekend, then reality hit me again on Monday. It was the second phone call with a message projecting our future; ultimately affecting our lifestyle and family life. No big deal – HAH!

There are just hard cold facts about life and timely matters that need to be dealt with. Yet, often the people delivering news like this aren’t aware of the impact they will have. This brings me to the topic of communication.  Like the other day, when the medical receptionist called to chastise us for delaying the appointment. “You can’t do this a second time,” she scolded. On top of everything else, I felt we were causing a major disruption in the health care system! What about the disruption in our lives? What about the fact that we were being given one month’s notice – at Christmas – to rearrange the next year of our lives?  Okay so the point is: I was thrown off my game. I felt like I was responsible for it all!

Then today, one day later, I shared my concern and  received an open ear and honest words of encouragement – without fluff or pity. This is what coaches do (in this case, this is what my coach did). Having the objective person in my life who really guides me back to my strengths, or place of intent. She was able to remind me of how hard I’ve worked and to keep going. Through this conversation, I could see how being so attached to making everything viable and stable, caused me to lose sight of my work that has meaning and motivation. The work that will provide the means for us to get through as a family.

I really do believe we are tested and challenged as we attempt to stay on focus or more significantly, on our chosen path. Personally, this latest scenario has put me to the test. The question I’m left with today isn’t so much: What am I going to do? But rather, what am I doing now, that will keep me aligned and open to fresh opportunities. There’s been a real shift in how my body feels, my mindset, and of course, my spirit.

My work is about building capacity for change, and I know from real personal experience it begins with trust.  This is something I hope each and every person I coach discovers. Life just keeps handing us new opportunities and challenges (definitely a fair whack of those!) to uncover our trust. The process renews and builds when we continue to keep going and moving toward something that is often unknown and undiscovered. By having some fixed idea or plan, then maybe it is our own attachment that must be addressed and released.  Something right and positive will show up, it’s up to us to trust.

Keep going,


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One Response to “Just keep going with no attachment”

  1. Yvette Murray

    11. Dec, 2009


    This is so timely and awesome for me. Great to know we all have things “pop” up and we are sooo not alone. Thanks for the reminder! 🙂

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