Commitment – a feeling that can’t be denied

Posted on 26. Nov, 2010 by in Life Coaching

Tonight I heard myself rant about “opening doors, hitting the wall,” and then asking myself, just how many doors must I open until something reveals the truth and reward of that which I seek. Well, I suppose I can stop “seeking” and be present with what is – I’ve wrote about that before! Reality is hard sometimes, it’s like knowing your on to something but that something isn’t exactly forthcoming or showing up just precisely or timely as we would like it to.

So in my little rant in which I admit, I didn’t take too seriously, nor did my husband (yes I know it’s American Thanksgiving and football is on), I went back to my trusty Mac and came across the article below (it’s written for coaches but it reminded me of conversations I’ve had with many of my life coaching clients, as well as, my personal experience creating Wright Momentum – I was committed and did everything despite “reality” to make it happen).

For those who are on the fence, who want to commit, and the beauty for when you do – read:

Commitment To Be A Life Coach

I’ve spoken with many people, life coaches or otherwise, over the past few months who are on the verge or commitment. They want to commit to something greater in their lives. They really want to lose weight, for example. Or they want to earn more money. Or they really want to be a successful life coach. They really do. They tell me that. They emphasize that. I can see how much they want it.

And yet, it hasn’t happened. I can see they are on the verge of committing. I can see they would like to commit. But the commitment to living their dreams hasn’t happened. It seems as if many people I’ve seen are in a holding space, a space of waiting. A space of inaction hoping that something will change or get better. Maybe hoping for something to save them.

There’s such a HUGE difference between wanting to commit and actually committing. At workshops you may see many people who are so excited to commit. They may even scream how committed they are at MLM meetings. They may have their goals on the wall and pump themselves up in the morning.

But then they come home from the workshop. And what happens? The momentum of their lives is what happens. If you’re teetering on the fence and you’re determined to do something about, then you need to understand the difference between these two — between committing and wanting to commit.

Let me give you an example. You come home from a workshop. You have your goals. You’re excited. You want to be committed. You may even think that you are. Then you attempt to take action. And either one of two things happen. You get afraid and you don’t do anything. Or you do something and fail and then you don’t try again. When faced with the prospect of action, when faced with actually doing it, you slowly back away. You go back where you came from. Some people will delude themselves for months and even years with this process, thinking that they’re actually committed.

Wanting to commit is when you really want to exercise, but you won’t go to the gym. Because you don’t have the commitment to go to the gym. And it may be because you don’t have enough time, the gym is too far, you don’t have the money, you have other commitments, you don’t like exercise, or something keeps coming up or whatever it is. The end result is that you don’t go the gym. Somehow. Some way. You find a way. Not to go.

That’s the difference between wanting to commit and commitment. It’s the same thing with wanting to be a successful coach. You want to be successful. You really do. But you don’t think you can do it. You don’t know how to find clients. You doubt people would buy from you. You don’t have the money to get the training you need. It just seems like you can’t do it.

Wanting to commit is when your desire comes smack against reality. And reality wins. Commitment is when you create your own reality. When no matter the circumstances, reasons, obstacles, impossibilities or the elements against you, it gets done. You go to the gym. A way gets found. It happens. Nothing can deter your commitment.

So if you really truly want to commit, then that means you must always be willing to embrace reality head on. Reality at it’s finest. Reality and the ugly truth. When you focus on being a successful coach, and that little voice in your head says, “yeah, but…” –whatever the ‘but’ is you are willing to face and embrace. You are willing to overcome. Not by force, but by choice. And it’s not to say that commitment doesn’t take time, because it does. But commitment moves through failure, moves through pain, moves through frustration.

Wanting to commit only brings more pain and frustration. Wanting to commit only keeps you where you are at with the same stories about why you can’t succeed still governing your life.

Now here’s the kicker: for most people, life coaches and otherwise, the biggest reason coaches don’t commit is because they don’t believe they can succeed. They don’t believe they can get clients. They doubt themselves. They doubt they have the power to overcome the reality staring them in the face. I know. I had experienced the same feeling for years on end.

If you want to go from wanting to commit to commitment, the thing that will help you the most is allowing the possibility of belief into your life. The possibility that things can be different. Maybe not now. But that it could happen. That your beliefs can change. That you can do something different. That you can grow and learn and make changes.

I’m speaking both to those of you who are just beginning for the first time and those of you who have been working at this for years and still not seen the results you want. You’ll know when you are ready to commit. Because you’ll have something coming from deep inside of you that can’t be stopped, deterred, reasoned with, defeated, denied or turned aside. Again, not by force, but by choice, a silent choice that is so much powerful than anything else in the universe. You’ll know when you are truly committed.

Because the chains that bound you and kept you stuck won’t be able to any more. You’ll begin to see the possibility that something could be different. You’ll begin to even look for it. Hope opens up.

And commitment is the single biggest factor that separates those who want to be successful coaches and those who are successful coaches.

Articles Source: About the Author:Jason Westlake is a life coach who shows other coaches how to attract clients. The 3 absolutely critical foundations to building a successful coaching practice are available at:

Reading this article one of my favourite quotes came to mind:

Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, ineffectiveness concerning all act of initiative (and creation). There is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. A whole stream of event issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his way.”

William Hutchinson Murray

I’m passionate about coaching people who are truly committed to change. Did I mention how fun and effective it is to coach people who are  – call me when you are, or even if you want to be!

Susan Wright, Founder of Wright Momentum

Inspiring Change, Empowering Action

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One Response to “Commitment – a feeling that can’t be denied”

  1. Laurie-Ann

    27. Nov, 2010

    Thanks Sue, another great post!

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