Am I saying the right thing?

Posted on 12. Oct, 2016 by in Conscious Leadership, Personal and Professional Development

cartoon-1300894_1280How often do you question what you’re saying? Oh come on, I know it’s more than once. Remember that meeting where you took command of the room and expressed what you thought they needed to hear? What about that interview, when you answered a reasonable question with a way-off response? In your mind it was clear but then you weren’t so sure based on the expression of the interviewer.  What about the time you spoke from your heart and then later wondered did that make any sense?

The thing is, it’s not what you’re saying that matters the most, it’s what others see and feel.  When I’m saying something that I think is the right answer, often it’s not. How so? Well, the problem is multilayered. If I’m preoccupied with coming up with the right answer because I’m attached to a specific outcome, then I’ve clouded the spirit of what I want to say.  In search of the right answer we lose sight of our authentic expression. The experience of the listener is a feeling of incongruence; on one hand what someone is saying may be correct, on the other hand, it feels disjointed or disingenuous.

Now, if we didn’t worry about saying the right thing but rather, what we feel, something cool starts to happen. Both you and the listener feel engaged, on point, and very possibly, well-understood.  There is a meeting of the minds and hearts. From the boardroom to the classroom this way of communicating matters.  When we feel our words then our body language and behaviour follows suit. We embody what we say and therefore, we become engaging, influential and often trustworthy.

We do need to think before we speak but we also need to notice our internal frequency or intention.  If we can harmonize one with the other, then we can deliver something quite insightful or impactful.  So next time you start wondering if you said the right thing, just check-in with your gut and heart. If they don’t quite jive, take a moment, reconnect and then say what you want to say.

Love to hear your thoughts on this piece – write a comment below.

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