Step 2

Step Two: Rise above fear and take the first step toward your desired change

What is your entry point for change? Imagine your life as a great wheel rolling along, over a few pebbles, and finding a destination. Reality is, the wheel collects dirt, debris, and may go out of alignment every so often. So life may either come to a temporary pause, drudge along with greater resistance, or continue on a misaligned path. So imagine you’re the hub and one spoke feels loose or misaligned. Can you identify what that spoke represents? It may be a significant relationship, your work, your health, your finances…areas in your life no longer aligned or connected. If you pull off to the side of the road and bring that aspect of your life back into alignment than chances are you run a better course and move forward with less resistance.

It is my experience that people come to coaching when life feels off-course or lacking the lustre it once had. People that I’ve worked with often show up unable to rise above the fear because they have already begun giving up on their business, ideas and plans. What they do discover, through coaching, is a way back to their passion or whatever is most compelling for them at the time. They begin to realign and take time to clear the drudge and strengthen the areas that create movement or progression.

Recognize what areas in your life are creating the most satisfaction and those that are not. Choose an area to adjust that can possibly make the greatest level of positive change or impact. For example, you want to have positive and deeper relationships in your life. Ask yourself, what is required for this change to happen? Possibly a few things like: communication, attitude/mindset, contribution and trust. So identify what it is you are willing to learn, develop and do something about. Say in this example you focus on communication – this is the point to become more specific, cast light on it and break it down into sizable chunks of insight and action. You might begin by taking note of how you listen, when you speak, and relate to others, only to discover that you interrupt, don’t speak up when hurt, and disconnect when it happens. Through this gradual process, fear can be taken over by identifying something more meaningful and manageable to adjust. It is also a way to highlight what pains us and to dig a little deeper into the meaning behind the change. Quite often the meaning lends real value and brings forth positive inspiration to change.

Inspiration precipitates change. Personally, I often experience nature as a great precipitant of change. The large gusts of wind indicate a shift in weather patterns, similar to a great thrust of a wheel; movement and momentum takes hold. Inspiration happens within us and through us. Often it’s worth it to bring yourself closer to your source of inspiration or simply associate yourself with it where ever it may exist (i.e., a group of gifted people, a magnificent mountain range, wanderlust forest, a collection of poetry or art). Find your source of inspiration and connect with it consistently.

“You can’t shake hands with a clenched fist.” Indira Gandhi

To rise above fear it is essential to have a mindset of openness. When you are closed, you are limited in your view and capacity to move away and beyond the things, people or ideas that hold you captive. In order to be open and access its invitation you need to dare with a little vulnerability. So you expose a little of yourself, but do so incrementally and ask for the appropriate amount of support, feedback, or whatever it is that you need.

Openness also comes from a willingness to receive. Often we do-do-do or give-give-give without any acceptance or willingness to receive. An easy way to notice this within yourself is to recall the last time someone gave you a compliment. Did you accept it with thanks or mutter something to deflect it’s full value? This brings me to the significance of trust. Trust that a compliment is authentic and that you deserve it! Credit yourself and the process you are about to embark upon or are already in. The opposite of fear is trust. Trust grows and the process of change must be nurtured by it. Sometimes you may need an external support, like a coach or trusted advisor, to gently guide you through the rough patches and momentary ego mudslides. The additional advantage of having a helping hand as you take your first step is knowing you are not alone. When you trip (and chances are that you will), that guide, confidant, whomever it is, will support you in getting back up on your feet again to take another step toward your desired change.

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